Robin Hood Level: Stupid

Monday, August 13th, 2012 • Filed under Burglaries, Cars

Have you ever gotten a present you didn’t really ask for? A record, for instance. It’s thrilling that your friend is cool enough to be into vinyl, but there you have absolutely no way to listen to 12 inches of whatever obscure music your friend dug out of the ever-so-esteemed thrift store collection.

Even worse is when you receive a gift from a dumb criminal; it is probably safe to assume that they may not have the best taste.  Especially this man in Georgia who, after robbing one person’s car, left his acquired loot in a neighbor’s.  This was a wallet and camera, according to Dacula Patch. The owner of those decided not to press charges, but how about the guy whose stuff was in the burglar’s car?

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Stupid Criminal Gets Owned By Ninja Sword

By JJ Duncan on I was just saying the other day how I wish more crime stories involved swords.

What strange attraction do swords hold for perpetually adolescent males? Whatever it is, if you have a friend who buys swords, he probably gets made fun of a LOT (and deservedly so). But from Florida today we have the story of one man whose nerdy little thing for swords will never be mocked again.

Names have yet to be released, but apparently a knife-wielding thief forced his way into an apartment in Melbourne, Fla. Unfortunately for him, the guy living there was prepared... with a friggin' NINJA SWORD!

The thief was soon arrested and taken to a hospital with a big-ass cut on his arm from the katana blade wielded by his would-be victim.

Not only did the guy pull out a ninja sword to fend off his attacker, he actually got to use it. I admit it. I'm jealous.

Check out the photo gallery from WFTV-Ch. 9 in Florida. (Full story)

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Stupid Criminals: Teen Queen Edition Featuring Lindsey Evans

By Tatiana Guertin on If only Miss Louisiana Teen USA Lindsey Evans would have paid her $46.07 dinner tab she would still have her crown. But, proving that beauty queens are a little lacking in the brain department, Evans not only skipped out on her tab, but left her purse full of pot at the restaurant.

Rule #1 of the dine-and-dash: You should definitely remember to take your purse or wallet with you.

When Evans returned to the restaurant to grab her purse she was arrested on theft and charges of marijuana possession after police searched her bag and found a stash of pot.

Rule #1 of carrying pot on you: Don't commit a crime, if you do don't leave your pot behind with your personal information.

Come on! Is a little common sense too much to ask for in a beauty queen?

With only 10 days left on her reign Evans was stripped of her title. You can't say she didn't deserve it.

Related Articles:A happily married woman. The owner of the cutest dog ever. A journalism graduate. A girl who just loves sports and beer, preferably at the same time.

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It’s A Crime They’re So Stupid…

By sbraccia on | From wncn.info   Like a perpetual motion machine that just keeps on running, we seem to have an endless supply of criminals who are not the brightest bulbs on the marquee of life… Check ‘em out in this latest edition of:   A STORYBOOK ENDING…. Generally, the art of burglary is best executed if you leave the place you’ve robbed once [...] Related Articles:

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Stupid Criminals: 'We've Got Boobies!'

By JJ Duncan on That's how Federal Security Guard Darin Earl Wanless cheerfully announced the fruition of his master plan to his coworkers.

That plan? To capture women undressing using the security cameras placed on top of the U.S. Courthouse complex in downtown Spokane, Washington.

If that sounds like a plot point from "Revenge of the Nerds" that's because it is (skip to 0:58 ).

Wanless reportedly succeeded in his quest for 'boobies' 22 times, according to court documents. But while the Nerds got away Scot free, Wanless will have to register as a sex offender for the next 10 years.

Yeesh. Real life sucks. (More at the Spokesman-Review )

(Darin Wanless pictured above)

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Stupid Criminals: 911 Doesn't Care About Your Sandwich

By JJ Duncan on I've been to Subway enough times to know that if I want an edible sandwich, I have to make it VERY clear that I only want the tiniest bit of mayonaisse on my Cold Cut Trio.

Nothing is worse than biting into a footlong and feeling it coat your chin and shirt in that slimy discount mayo they smother all over a perfectly good sammich. I've complained. Once I even got a coupon for a free sandwich. But it never occurred to me that there might be a higher authority to whom I could voice my complaints.

I must not be nearly as clever as Reginald Peterson, the 42-year-old Florida man who became so angry with Subway's Sandwich Artists that he did take his complaints to a higher authority.

He dialed 911.

Then he dialed again when police didn't show up fast enough.

Then he got arrested for placing false 911 calls.

Peterson was not willing to compromise. His sandwich needed a police escort to be made correctly and he wasn't leaving until that's exactly what happened... or until police handcuffed him and threw him in a squad car.

Oh well, maybe the sous chefs down at County will be more attentive to the way old Reggie likes his sandwich made.

(Reginald Peterson's mug shot pictured above)

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Stupid Criminals: Copper Thief 'Never Been in a Jam Like This'

By JJ Duncan on Talk about being stuck between a dumpster and a hard place.

Gibson Cook, 56, found himself in a precarious situation when he went scavenging for scrap metal in a DIllon County, S.C. landfill. And the local Sheriff's deputies were kind enough to take embarrassing pictures.

You know what happens when you stick your hand too far in the Pringles can? That's kind of how it went down with Gibson.

He crawled and he reached and crawled and reached and when he finally grabbed that mess of copper wiring in his grimy little mitt he realized he'd gone too far. So he took the only option left to him: he screamed like a little girl until someone lifted that thing off him. At least that's how I like to imagine it happened.

""He's one of our local petty thieves," deputy Wayne Kirby said. "But he has never been in a jam like this."

Looking at Gibson's picture following the harrowing incident, he doesn't seem that fazed. At least he didn't pee his pants, which is more than you could probably say for yourself were you to be pinned beneath a two-ton metal dumpster.
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Stupid Criminals: Man Arrested For Impromptu Demolition Derby

By JJ Duncan on Maybe he thought they were all out to get him. Maybe he just had a bad day.

Whatever the reason, Fort Worth man Michael John Holden decided it was time to play demolition derby with his white Toyota Tundra pickup truck and no one else was privy to the information.

Late evening Wednesday, Holden allegedly began ramming his pickup straight into a number of cars in a parking lot. Then he drove to another parking lot and did it again.

Instead of fleeing the scene, Holden sauntered into a nearby bar, the Star Light Sports Lounge, where police soon nabbed the allegedly intoxicated Holden. He'd been followed by a witness who told police right where he could be found.

Witnesses do tend to notice when you go on a rampage and smash up 17 vehicles at an estimated cost of $75,000.

(More from DallasNews.com) Related Articles:Writer, editor, and sometimes graphic designer for Zimbio.com since 2008. Follow me on Twitter.

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Stupid Criminals: Kill the Lawnmower! KILL IT! KILL IT!

By JJ Duncan on Consider the plight of Keith Walendowski.

Just like anyone would, when his lawnmower began to act up he assumed the time had come. Call it the Apocalypse. Call it the Rise of the Machines. Call it running out of gas. Whatever it was, Keith was ready for it.

He pulled out his illegally-short-barrelled shotgun and blew that motherfucker to Kingdom Come.

"I can do that, it's my lawn mower and my yard so I can shoot it if I want."

Unfortunately for him, the cops didn't agree. (More at CJOnline.com )

Thanks for the mugshot Keith! *muah*

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Crossdressers Can Be Stupid Criminals Too

By Tatiana Guertin on Peter Abramczyk poses for his mug shot at a Concord, N.H. police department. (Image Source The Smoking Gun)

Apparently 39-year-old Peter Abramczyk of Connecticut wasn't aware that putting adds that solicit sex on Craigslist is not OK with the police.

Abramczyk was caught after an ad he placed on Craigslist for the availability of a "passable crossdresser" was found by police, who answered the ad, using an undercover police officer.

He agreed to meet the officer to exchange in a sex act for money.

The most embarrassing part of this whole thing is probably that, for the rest of his life, Abramczyk is going to be known as that guy wearing makeup in his mug shot.

Still, he kind of deserves it, soliciting prostitution, which is illegal in most states, on Craigslist, is not the smartest idea. If you're curious, TheSmokingGun.com has a copy of the Craigslist ad.

Related Articles:A happily married woman. The owner of the cutest dog ever. A journalism graduate. A girl who just loves sports and beer, preferably at the same time.

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