Robin Hood Level: Stupid

Monday, August 13th, 2012 • Filed under Burglaries, Cars

Have you ever gotten a present you didn’t really ask for? A record, for instance. It’s thrilling that your friend is cool enough to be into vinyl, but there you have absolutely no way to listen to 12 inches of whatever obscure music your friend dug out of the ever-so-esteemed thrift store collection.

Even worse is when you receive a gift from a dumb criminal; it is probably safe to assume that they may not have the best taste.  Especially this man in Georgia who, after robbing one person’s car, left his acquired loot in a neighbor’s.  This was a wallet and camera, according to Dacula Patch. The owner of those decided not to press charges, but how about the guy whose stuff was in the burglar’s car?

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Drunk Driving Level: Redneck

Monday, July 30th, 2012 • Filed under Cars, Drunks

Accounts of drunk driving always seem to get worse and worse. You never hear about the nice old man who had one too many glasses of Pinot Grigio at his 50th anniversary dinner and only dozed off at the wheel for a moment. Picture Alfred in the Batmobile.

Nope, it’s always stories like this. A young woman testified to Texas’ reputation on the Fourth after placing a grill still full of hot coals in the back of her truck. In the front was her 3 year old son who, as well as the mother, remained oblivious to the flames and smoke protruding from the bed. They still didn’t notice anything odd even when the fire marshal drove behind honking his horn. Luckily the woman hit a red light, moved her child and herself to safety, and blew about a 0.9. According to Houston Press, the truck wasn’t so lucky and was engulfed in flames, like the oldest special effect in the book.

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Parenting Level 0

Monday, June 4th, 2012 • Filed under Uncategorized

Ladies and gentleman, please give a warm round of applause to our newest entry in the Mother Of The Year contest! This year’s competition is in honor of….never mind.  I can’t make Casey Anthony jokes; my mom would kill me.

In case her fluorescent pink hair and young age weren’t proof enough of her terrible mothering skills, a Phoenix women was having a bit of trouble bringing home her one month old son. And by a bit of trouble, I mean she drove away with him on the roof. According to Project 961, she had put his baby carrier up there and forgotten about it. This might have suspiciously had something to do with all the beer and pot she and her boyfriend had employed beforehand. Luckily, the child wasn’t hurt, and police arrived at Pinky’s house after receiving calls reporting an abandoned baby. That’s baby, not Christmas tree.

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