Cops: Drunk Guy Crashed Truck, Swiped Forklift

(Newser) – Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug, and sometimes you're the dude with a really good buzz driving a pilfered forklift three miles to fetch the truck you crashed and managed to leave dangling on a giant pipe in Alaska. Police in Fairbanks say the latter is the tale of woe that was the Monday morning of 21-year-old Aleksander Glushko, reports the Fairbanks Daily News-Miner.

Cops say Glushko crashed the truck just before 6am, walked to the nearby George Horner Ice Park, appropriated aforementioned forklift, and drove back past the crash scene. Awaiting him when he swung back around were officers of the law; a breath test allegedly clocked in at 0.230—roughly three times the legal limit. Glushko is charged with felony DUI and vehicle theft; a DUI conviction would give him a hat trick.

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Woman Drives to Jail Drunk to Bail Out Drunk Husband

(Newser) – Lots of idiots drove drunk on New Year's Eve. But not many of them were driving to a police station to pick up a husband who had been arrested for, you guessed it, drunk driving. But that's what police allege a Pennsylvania woman did, according to the Erie Times-News. After police arrested 53-year-old Steven Flick (an arrest that involved him attempting to flee and being caught), Kimberly Flick called police around 2am on New Year's Day to arrange a pick-up. They warned her not to come if she, too had been drinking—but she allegedly ignored the warning. When she arrived, she, too was charged. (Amazingly, their story is a little less wild than this chain-of-DUIs story.)

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Drunk Driving Level: Redneck

Monday, July 30th, 2012 • Filed under Cars, Drunks

Accounts of drunk driving always seem to get worse and worse. You never hear about the nice old man who had one too many glasses of Pinot Grigio at his 50th anniversary dinner and only dozed off at the wheel for a moment. Picture Alfred in the Batmobile.

Nope, it’s always stories like this. A young woman testified to Texas’ reputation on the Fourth after placing a grill still full of hot coals in the back of her truck. In the front was her 3 year old son who, as well as the mother, remained oblivious to the flames and smoke protruding from the bed. They still didn’t notice anything odd even when the fire marshal drove behind honking his horn. Luckily the woman hit a red light, moved her child and herself to safety, and blew about a 0.9. According to Houston Press, the truck wasn’t so lucky and was engulfed in flames, like the oldest special effect in the book.

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