Cops: Drunk Guy Crashed Truck, Swiped Forklift

(Newser) – Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug, and sometimes you're the dude with a really good buzz driving a pilfered forklift three miles to fetch the truck you crashed and managed to leave dangling on a giant pipe in Alaska. Police in Fairbanks say the latter is the tale of woe that was the Monday morning of 21-year-old Aleksander Glushko, reports the Fairbanks Daily News-Miner.

Cops say Glushko crashed the truck just before 6am, walked to the nearby George Horner Ice Park, appropriated aforementioned forklift, and drove back past the crash scene. Awaiting him when he swung back around were officers of the law; a breath test allegedly clocked in at 0.230—roughly three times the legal limit. Glushko is charged with felony DUI and vehicle theft; a DUI conviction would give him a hat trick.

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Bread Truck Thief Showers NYC With Bread

(Newser) – Maybe he was shooting to be the Robin Hood of carbohydrates? Police in New York City have charged 29-year-old David Bastar with criminal possession of stolen goods and driving without a license, reports the Journal News, and this is how they say it went down: A driver for Grimaldi's Home of Bread was making a delivery to a pizzeria when Bastar, who does not have a license or apparently like to wear clothes other than his skivvies, hopped into the still-running truck. Then the would-be Good Samaritan kept right on making deliveries, only since he didn't know the route, "He was delivering bread at random places," says bakery owner Joe Grimaldi. "It was very bizarre. They were finding bread in front of their doors."

But wait, it gets a little weirder: After Bastar apparently delivered the entire $8,000 worth of bread, he spotted a shiny Cadillac Escalade limo, which cops say he proceeded to tailgate—at times by a matter of inches, says the Escalade's driver, adding, "I was getting a little scared because I thought if I stopped he was going to hit me." He eventually called cops, who pulled the bread truck over and escorted Bastar, who was wearing only his briefs, to a hospital for a mental health evaluation. (It hasn't been a kind news cycle for Cadillac Escalades.)

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