Cops: Drunk Guy Crashed Truck, Swiped Forklift

(Newser) – Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug, and sometimes you're the dude with a really good buzz driving a pilfered forklift three miles to fetch the truck you crashed and managed to leave dangling on a giant pipe in Alaska. Police in Fairbanks say the latter is the tale of woe that was the Monday morning of 21-year-old Aleksander Glushko, reports the Fairbanks Daily News-Miner.

Cops say Glushko crashed the truck just before 6am, walked to the nearby George Horner Ice Park, appropriated aforementioned forklift, and drove back past the crash scene. Awaiting him when he swung back around were officers of the law; a breath test allegedly clocked in at 0.230—roughly three times the legal limit. Glushko is charged with felony DUI and vehicle theft; a DUI conviction would give him a hat trick.

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Dude Desperate to Make Court Swiped Pal's Car: Cops

(Newser) – A New Jersey man has been accused of stealing a friend's car to avoid missing a court hearing on drug charges. Twenty-one-year-old Jorge Ramirez-Sierra of Riverdale has been charged with unlawful taking of a means of conveyance and driving while suspended, among other counts. Police tell NJ.com the new charges came after a man reported his car missing Friday morning. Police say the man told officers Ramirez-Sierra had "stated multiple times the evening before that he did not know how he was going to get" to court. The next morning, the car had magically disappeared.

While officers were talking with the owner, Ramirez-Sierra called to say he was returning with the vehicle. He was taken into custody after arriving. Per police, Ramirez-Sierra had on his person: a hypodermic needlea crack pipeempty wax bags and other drug paraphernaliaan open airplane bottle of Fireball whiskeyRamirez-Sierra has two days to figure out his next ride to court.

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