Man arrested for stealing ladies' socks... for the fourth time

By JJ Duncan on Old habits die hard. Especially when they're part of some weird perversion related to womens' socks.
Meet James Dowdy. He's 36, hailing from Belleville, Ill. and boy does he want to get his mits on your socks. Dowdy was arrested Monday for breaking into a family's basement and trying to get away through the window with an armful of socks.

Dowdy has already served in time in PRISON for stealing socks. He was convicted of the strange thefts in 2004, 1997 and 1994. But with those long gaps between his sentences, you have to wonder... how many unknown victims are out there?

Maybe I'm wrong though. Maybe it isn't some weird perversion. Maybe this is just the guy responsible for all those times you lose just one of a pair of socks. But that just makes him more sinister in my opinion.

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Stupid Criminals: Copper Thief 'Never Been in a Jam Like This'

By JJ Duncan on Talk about being stuck between a dumpster and a hard place.

Gibson Cook, 56, found himself in a precarious situation when he went scavenging for scrap metal in a DIllon County, S.C. landfill. And the local Sheriff's deputies were kind enough to take embarrassing pictures.

You know what happens when you stick your hand too far in the Pringles can? That's kind of how it went down with Gibson.

He crawled and he reached and crawled and reached and when he finally grabbed that mess of copper wiring in his grimy little mitt he realized he'd gone too far. So he took the only option left to him: he screamed like a little girl until someone lifted that thing off him. At least that's how I like to imagine it happened.

""He's one of our local petty thieves," deputy Wayne Kirby said. "But he has never been in a jam like this."

Looking at Gibson's picture following the harrowing incident, he doesn't seem that fazed. At least he didn't pee his pants, which is more than you could probably say for yourself were you to be pinned beneath a two-ton metal dumpster.
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Husband arrests his wife

By myheartnote on | From myheartnote.com

ASHWAUBENON, Wisconsin —  A Public Safety officer was tired of his wife denying she didn’t steal his wallet.  He handcuffed her and told her she was under arrest.  He is facing charges for false imprisonment, a felony, and disorderly conduct, a and misdemeanor.  Thomas Benike and Heidi Benike had been married for 12 years and have four children.  In November, Heidi filed for divorce, and Thomas is allowed to visit the kids.  He had been working as an officer for six years.

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That’s Nacho Car

Mexican food is just delicious. I mean, there’s nothing like a balanced diet of chips, salsa, and whatever food item you can’t finish because you ate too much of the first two. But what if this particular ethnic cuisine started showing up in unexpected places?

Well, then you might be living in Seattle. A crook by the name of the Tortilla Car Vandal does…well, exactly what his name implies. He shattered the window of a Jeep, but didn’t actually steal anything. Instead, he left a pile of tortillas scattered across the car’s floor, as it says on HP. If he continues, they might even make him the main character a children’s picture book.

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Stupid Criminals: Man Arrested For Impromptu Demolition Derby

By JJ Duncan on Maybe he thought they were all out to get him. Maybe he just had a bad day.

Whatever the reason, Fort Worth man Michael John Holden decided it was time to play demolition derby with his white Toyota Tundra pickup truck and no one else was privy to the information.

Late evening Wednesday, Holden allegedly began ramming his pickup straight into a number of cars in a parking lot. Then he drove to another parking lot and did it again.

Instead of fleeing the scene, Holden sauntered into a nearby bar, the Star Light Sports Lounge, where police soon nabbed the allegedly intoxicated Holden. He'd been followed by a witness who told police right where he could be found.

Witnesses do tend to notice when you go on a rampage and smash up 17 vehicles at an estimated cost of $75,000.

(More from DallasNews.com) Related Articles:Writer, editor, and sometimes graphic designer for Zimbio.com since 2008. Follow me on Twitter.

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Stupid Criminals: Kill the Lawnmower! KILL IT! KILL IT!

By JJ Duncan on Consider the plight of Keith Walendowski.

Just like anyone would, when his lawnmower began to act up he assumed the time had come. Call it the Apocalypse. Call it the Rise of the Machines. Call it running out of gas. Whatever it was, Keith was ready for it.

He pulled out his illegally-short-barrelled shotgun and blew that motherfucker to Kingdom Come.

"I can do that, it's my lawn mower and my yard so I can shoot it if I want."

Unfortunately for him, the cops didn't agree. (More at CJOnline.com )

Thanks for the mugshot Keith! *muah*

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Sorry, We Only Carry S and XS

Sunday, June 17th, 2012 • Filed under Other

I believe I speak for all straight females when I say the scariest thing about Halloween is probably the lack of fabric worn on this day every year. “A bikini and mouse ears? You’re a mouse. A bikini and glasses? Soooo nerdy. A bikini and fangs? You’re Edward Cullen!”

A prison in Washington recently became the central spot for this kind of sartorial shenanigans. Apparently, somebody was troubled that the inmates were sitting around with nothing to do. To solve this “problem”, the prisoners were entrusted with the task of sewing uniforms for the guards. Now, how could that possibly go wrong? According to Seattle Weekly, officials started receiving complaints about the outfits being too tight in places and too loose in others, as well as zippers and buttons breaking off. The makeshift sexiness was to excite the lonely criminals, we presume. Next time, hire a jail full of tailors.

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