Man Hiding From Cops Foiled by Own Snapchat Post

(Newser) – Someday, maybe, there will be a story about a fugitive taunting the police via social media that ends differently, but until then ... meet Christopher Wallace. As police were searching for him inside his home in Fairfield, Maine, the 24-year-old burglary suspect posted a message to Snapchat boasting that he was hiding inside a cabinet, reports centralmaine.com. The message disappeared quickly, as Snapchat messages do, but somebody called the cops to let them know what it said.

“A search of the kitchen cabinets turned up some food, some pots and pans, and also a pair of feet,” recounts a gleeful Facebook post from the Somerset County Sheriff's Office. “The pair of feet just so happened to be attached to a person, and that person was Christopher Wallace. He was removed from the cabinet and placed under arrest.” And how did police know to search the home in the first place? An earlier Snapchat post by Wallace, of course.

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Cops Laugh About Stoner's To-Do List on Twitter

(Newser) – Police officers are people, too. And like us, they share their hilarious finds on Twitter. Take this example: Police in Murdoch, Western Australia, were executing a search warrant on a house in Perth, relating to a burglary investigation, when they uncovered a rather amusing to-do list, News.com.au reports. It described an individual's busy Saturday laid out with helpful reminders like "go to bus stop" and "go get lunch (chips and gravy)," per Mashable. The last two entries on the 10-item list, adding fuel to the idea that marijuana causes memory problems, were "go home and get a stick" and then "chop up and get stoned"—because, you know, sometimes you forget.

Police tweeted a photo of the list, with the caption, "Are ur Saturdays hectic like this!!!" They followed that up with, "Yes, the to do list was authentic, I don't think any of us here could make it up if we tried! #nosenseofhumour." The witty replies flooded in. "At least he had realistic personal goals which he probably achieved," one user quipped. But not all social media users were as amused. "No wonder our homes keep getting broken into. The Murdoch police are too busy embarrassing drug addicts on social media. Grow up," another added, per News.com.au. (The list-writer joins a long tradition of misguided potheads.)

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Guy Busted With Container Labeled 'Not Weed'

(Newser) – He put his weed in there: The crack law enforcement in Lincoln, Neb., were apparently unfooled by a 21-year-old man's sour cream container labeled "Not Weed." As the Lincoln Journal-Star reports, the unnamed man was pulled over about 9pm on Saturday on suspicion of drunken driving. During a subsequent search of the man's vehicle, cops found the 16-ounce container under the driver's seat with—despite its seemingly crystal clear label—about 11 grams of weed inside. The man is charged with "not" driving under the influence of alcohol and "not" possessing less than an ounce of weed. Three apparently stone-cold sober passengers were actually not charged.

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Things You Don't Instagram: Your Bank Robbery

(Newser) – "I decided to go to the bank. She gave me money, and I left," Dominyk Antonio Alfonseca tells WAVY from his perch in jail. “I videotaped it. If it was a robbery, I don’t think I would videotape it, post the picture of the letter and do that all to come to jail.” Where police in Virginia Beach and Alfonseca agree: The 23-year-old walked into a bank Monday afternoon and handed the teller a note that read, "I need 150,000 Bonds Right NOW!! Please Police take 3 to 4 minites to get here, I would appriceate if you Ring the alarm a minute after I am gone... Make sure the money doesn't BLOW UP ON MY WAY OUT,-)" He then walked out $150,000 richer. Alfonseca next helpfully posted two videos of the exchange to Instagram, as well as a photo of his note.

Where police and Alfonseca diverge in their characterization of events: Alfonseca tells the Virginian-Pilot that he made a simple request and was "basically asking permission for money"; "She could have said no, and I could have left," he tells WTVR, which notes that the ever-so-chatty Alfonseca "wanted to give shout-outs to Michelle Obama, Justin Bieber, and Lady Gaga." And while he did, in fact, say "please" and use a little winky emoticon, police who arrested him 22 minutes later seem to think a crime was involved and charged him with robbery. It's not the first time Alfonseca has contemplated the not-terribly-fine line between theft and non-theft: In another post he muses, "Should I Pay For My Items in Cash Routine Or Should I Just Take What Ever I Want?" (Want more criminal masterminds? Go here.)

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Guy Robbed Woman, Then Friended Her: Cops

(Newser) – Ah, Facebook, that repository for high school friends, college friends, friends of friends, people you wish you'd never met ... and the dude who robbed you the other day? Police in Washington state say that a woman was sitting at a ferry terminal with headphones on when a guy knocked her on the head from behind, grabbed her iPod and purse, and took off. Police say the woman didn't recognize the man, but the AP reports that she saw a triangle tattoo on his neck. Lo and behold, the next day she received a friend request from—you guessed it—a guy with a triangle neck tattoo. Twenty-eight-year-old Riley Allen Mullins, who police traced to the Facebook account and tattoo in question, has been charged with second-degree robbery.

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Bread Truck Thief Showers NYC With Bread

(Newser) – Maybe he was shooting to be the Robin Hood of carbohydrates? Police in New York City have charged 29-year-old David Bastar with criminal possession of stolen goods and driving without a license, reports the Journal News, and this is how they say it went down: A driver for Grimaldi's Home of Bread was making a delivery to a pizzeria when Bastar, who does not have a license or apparently like to wear clothes other than his skivvies, hopped into the still-running truck. Then the would-be Good Samaritan kept right on making deliveries, only since he didn't know the route, "He was delivering bread at random places," says bakery owner Joe Grimaldi. "It was very bizarre. They were finding bread in front of their doors."

But wait, it gets a little weirder: After Bastar apparently delivered the entire $8,000 worth of bread, he spotted a shiny Cadillac Escalade limo, which cops say he proceeded to tailgate—at times by a matter of inches, says the Escalade's driver, adding, "I was getting a little scared because I thought if I stopped he was going to hit me." He eventually called cops, who pulled the bread truck over and escorted Bastar, who was wearing only his briefs, to a hospital for a mental health evaluation. (It hasn't been a kind news cycle for Cadillac Escalades.)

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Woman Leads Cops on 100mph Chase —to Preferred Jail

(Newser) – So maybe you've been drinking and maybe you're speeding a little, but what to do when a cop tries to pull you over—presenting you with the very real prospect of doing a little time in a less-than-desirable county jail? Step on the gas, and lead police on a merry little car chase to the county that houses your preferred incarceration facility. That is the alleged tale of 34-year-old Oklahoman and prison connoisseur Luz Avilla, who police say was 5mph to 10mph over the limit when an officer in Grady County tried to pull her over.

Says a police spokesperson, "Instead of pulling over, the driver accelerated to speeds approximately 90 to 100 miles per hour." Apparently, Grady County jail is the worst. "She wanted to go to jail in Caddo County was her explanation as to why she did not pull over," the spokesperson says. Avilla also apparently did not want to get out of her vehicle, reports News9 via Gawker, and it took an officer with a drawn gun and a bunch of backup to persuade her. For posterity, the entire incident was recorded on the cop's dash cam. Avilla is facing a raft of charges including DUI and eluding police.

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