Cops Laugh About Stoner's To-Do List on Twitter

(Newser) – Police officers are people, too. And like us, they share their hilarious finds on Twitter. Take this example: Police in Murdoch, Western Australia, were executing a search warrant on a house in Perth, relating to a burglary investigation, when they uncovered a rather amusing to-do list, News.com.au reports. It described an individual's busy Saturday laid out with helpful reminders like "go to bus stop" and "go get lunch (chips and gravy)," per Mashable. The last two entries on the 10-item list, adding fuel to the idea that marijuana causes memory problems, were "go home and get a stick" and then "chop up and get stoned"—because, you know, sometimes you forget.

Police tweeted a photo of the list, with the caption, "Are ur Saturdays hectic like this!!!" They followed that up with, "Yes, the to do list was authentic, I don't think any of us here could make it up if we tried! #nosenseofhumour." The witty replies flooded in. "At least he had realistic personal goals which he probably achieved," one user quipped. But not all social media users were as amused. "No wonder our homes keep getting broken into. The Murdoch police are too busy embarrassing drug addicts on social media. Grow up," another added, per News.com.au. (The list-writer joins a long tradition of misguided potheads.)

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Ex-NFLer Watches, via Twitter, as Teens Trash Home

(Newser) – A Labor Day party at an ex-NFLer's Stephentown, New York, vacation home turned into a real mess, as hundreds of partying high-schoolers smashed windows, punched holes in walls, and graffitied the place, the AP reports. But it wasn't just that Brian Holloway was upset by the $20,000 in damage; his main concern was that he wasn't invited. His 19-year-old son spotted tweets about the party and told Holloway, who watched it unfold—by way of tweets and Twitter photos—from his Florida home; one photo showed people standing on a table that the former Patriots offensive lineman bought with his Super Bowl XX bonus. And the kids weren't exactly secretive: The New York Daily News reports that some spray-painted their names on walls; others tweeted invites to the Aug. 31 party a full five days before it happened.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, "It's not hard to identify who they were," says Holloway. "We've got 170 tweets. We have 200 to 220 names already confirmed today. And that data is all going to the sheriffs." That's not the only place the data is going: He has also been posting it to a website dubbed helpmesave300, in an effort to get the teens to come forward, take responsibility, and adjust their behavior. He also wants them to come back, only this time it's to clean up. "I believe that they can be turned around," he explains, per Fox Sports, which has photos from the party and its aftermath. "If we do nothing regarding these 300 students, we will have missed our chance to take a stand for their future."

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