Sweet Tooth

If you’re using razorblades for something other than shaving, we need to have a talk. If you’re eating razorblades, we NEED to have a talk. If you’re eating drugstore doughnuts, we need to have a TALK.

Unfortunately, co-workers in Utah have done all three. A man and a woman filed a fake police report against a nearby drugstore, after allegedly filling purchased doughnuts with small razorblades and then consuming them. This was in order to get paid by the drugstore. Worse, they made a fellow Dollar Tree employee try one as well. According to Huff Post, the flaw in their plan presented itself when policeman realized the drugstore doughnuts had been packaged in another state and shipped. Seriously, said the vegan, just eat some broccoli.

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Dad, I Said We Wanted A Pony!

Some animals really aren’t cute at all. You never see anyone begging their parents for an echidna, or stealing a toad from a pet shop. And there won’t ever be a heartfelt movie where the spider crab dies in the end. Still, everyone has one weird little creature that they love.

A Florida man clearly has a soft spot for manatees. When he and his two young daughters took a trip to Taylor Creek, he spotted one. Clearly thrilled, he put up pictures on Facebook of his daughters riding and petting a baby manatee. According to Miami New Times, someone who saw the pictures contacted the authorities, and the man was arrested for violating the Florida Manatee Sanctuary Act. As if Florida is having a hard time finding things to arrest people for…

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Dumb Coupons

As with anything crazy enough to have its own reality show, sometimes extreme couponing can get a bit too extreme. And no, this isn’t about a woman who bought 7 tons of dog food or enough frozen broccoli to feed a small nation for less than two digits. Read on to find out who went totally berserk.

When a Wal-Mart employee told a customer that they didn’t accept printed online coupons, I doubt he was prepared for the feisty 61 year old woman’s response. The assistant manager got involved, and was called names by the upset costumer. According to Miami New Times, more employees followed her out to her car. “I have something for y’all”, she declared as she waved around a 38. special she had gotten out. The police were called at this point, and she eventually had to be tasered. The worst part? The coupon only saved $1.

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He Moved His Clip

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done in school? And how far would you go to hide it from your parents?

According to HP, an 11 year old in Spain staged a fake kidnapping just to avoid a parent-teacher conference. He sent a text message to his father alerting him that he’d been kidnapped while taking out the trash. His father just happens to be police officer, who sent out a search all the way into Portugal. It turns out that the little actor was just hiding out at another house his family owned. Needless to say, the conference never happened.

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Soulmates

Monday, January 21st, 2013 • Filed under Cars, Drunks

“You make me a better person.” As cliché as that may sound, it’s probably a good element to have in a marriage. If you’re nuts for a health nut, jog with them. If someone cooler than you made a mix tape, you better listen to that or else. And if someone is really into drinking and driving…

Wait, no. Some habits just should not be picked up in a relationship. A married couple in Rhode Island found this out when they were both arrested for DUI. On the same night, but in separately. Suspicious? Little bit. According to Huffington Post, the husband was actually charged while riding his motorcycle to see his wife in custody. Lord only knows what their kids are like…

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Brownies Weren’t Healthy

Tuesday, January 15th, 2013 • Filed under Drugs, Smugglers

What’s better in soup, marijuana or vegetables? Well, we all know which one is better in you.

There was confusion about this raised in California. Inside $500,000 worth of frozen carrots, someone had hidden 310 pounds of marijuana. According to Huffington Post, the truck was inspected by officials and the driver is facing federal drug charges. Would have made more sense to hide the weed in Taco Bell chalupas, where only other potheads will find it.

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Petsitting 101

Sunday, January 6th, 2013 • Filed under Cars, Guns

Over winter vacation, my family and I had the opportunity to visit a place called Rainforest Adventures. Although most rainforest animals were missing and replaced by commonplace creatures like goats and mice, it was certainly an adventure. The chinchilla exhibit even featured a plastic fork in the corner, when they had clearly finished their lunch. Sadly, this kind of nonsense happens even when pets are legally owned.

A woman was spotted walking a Chihuahua she was babysitting. Why would this be a big deal? Only because she was driving while holding the leash out the window.  When a concerned neighbor inquired about this, the woman threatened to get her gun. According to WestWord Blogs, she was later arrested  back at her home. And the poor puppy was returned to Taco Bell.

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