London Bridge

Sunday, May 13th, 2012 • Filed under Forgery, Theft

So this sounds like something straight out of Despicable Me. Which is great, because who doesn’t wanna read about those adorable eyeballed Twinkie-like creatures? LOSERS, that’s who.

Losers also steal odd things, especially in the Czech Republic. Oh, those Czechs. According to The Telegraph, metal thieves managed to dismantle and steal a 10-ton bridge. And not a Lego one. How? The crooks handed over forged paperwork claiming that the bridge had to be torn down. Those who signed the check didn’t realize until too late that they had been bridge-napped.  So now what? Having 10 tons of scrap metal seems just as much of an inconvenience as losing it.

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Bucket List

Friday, May 11th, 2012 • Filed under Other

What’s on your bucket list? Slurping down live squid? Hitching a ride on the back of a stranger’s Harley? Participating in a good old-fashioned swordfight? OR all three simultaneously?

However, if that’s too hardcore for you, bro….you can always just ride a unicycle in the nude. A middle-aged man in Houston can now take pride in saying he has accomplished said task. In public. According to Houston Press, he was arrested for indecent exposure while crossing a highway bridge. But hey, all exposure is good exposure.

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Dumb Criminals Ink

Sunday, April 8th, 2012 • Filed under Other

Something we haven’t seen in a while: tattoos. Actually, we see them every day….the I-was-drunk-and-in-college skulls, the we-were-in-love-forever-until-he-cheated hearts, the Asian-is-totes-a-cool-language Chinese symbols, and the imprint-motherhood-onto-my-body-even-more pictures of kids’ faces. So what I really mean is that they haven’t been on here for a while.

Three young men were walking their dogs on a fine Idaho afternoon when a police officer suggested they move to a sidewalk. Harmless, right? One of the dog-walkers looked as though he might run away, so the officer became suspicious and asked for identification. As it says here on HP, the man gave his name and birthday, which didn’t show up later in the police database. Turns out he had given the officer a fake last name, an accusation that was confirmed by the tattoo of his actual name on his forehead. Apparently these things are easy to forget…

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There’s No Place Like The…Jail

Sunday, March 25th, 2012 • Filed under Other

Bad karaoke is bad for anyone involved. The person up there, envisioning spotlights and a sexy bass player and a crowd of thousands…. is just embarrassing herself. And the poor people listening are probably restraining themselves from pulling an Airplane! by trying out various suicide methods.

Most of the time, though, we just deal with it. A singer in a Florida Applebee’s did not, which became apparent when the fighting started. (Must have been singing Nickelback). According to HP,he was drunk and a little too into the song, so he started taking off his clothes. When the manager heard about this and tried to confront the situation, the singer slugged him in the face. He also beat up a few policeman before being carried away. Not worth a Bourbon Street Steak, amirite?

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“Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too”

Friday, May 11th, 2012 • Filed under Other

Guess what, all you pubescent adolescents? Contrary to what they tell you in health class, it seems as though your raging hormones are here to stay. All the way up to nursing home age, so it seems.

Now. 911 is an emergency help service, not an emergency “help” service. Just in case there was any doubt…which, apparently, there is. According to NewsOK, a man of 72 was charged of calling 911 numerous times making crude comments at the operators. Police eventually arrived at his home, and the man inquired as to whether he was being arrested or not. Like, no, it’s totally cool to have sexy-phone-time with our emergency response system. Please, tell me more.

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Fiesta!

Thursday, March 8th, 2012 • Filed under Assaults

Food has always brought families together. Or sliced them apart, in some cases. Things could get heated, maybe even boil over. Always remember to mix the two ingredients carefully.

It was a normal day as any for a Miami family consisting of a grown man, his live-in girlfriend, and his mother.  It wasn’t until they decided to have tacos for dinner that things got loco. When the son found out his mother had been using his taco sauce, his first course of action was to put her in a headlock. Brilliantly handled. After some yelling and glasses-breaking, she broke free. However, according to New Times, the girlfriend stepped into slap the mother around as well. She finally got away and walked all the way to her husband’s workplace, as her son refused to hand over the car keys. My guess is that next time she’ll stick with salsa.

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More to Come

More to Come Soon!