Would-Be Carjackers Should Have Learned to Drive Stick

(Newser) – Kids these days can't even jack an old lady's car correctly: KIRO brings us the tale of three teenage would-be carjackers in Seattle who were thwarted by a lowly manual transmission. Nancy Fredrickson, 70, was getting something out of the trunk of her Kia Saturday when three kids waved a gun in her face, demanded her keys, and hopped in the car. But their getaway turned less than glorious when none of them could drive the stick shift—causing no small amount of glee for Fredrickson and her neighbors.

"I got a five speed in there," she laughs. "They couldn't figure out how to get it going!" The teens fled, albeit on foot; cops have pulled DNA evidence from the car and are looking for them. And while Fredrickson admits the incident was scary at the time, now she says, "It was quite an interesting day. Let’s put it that way."

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Would-Be Crooks Stymied by Door, Stick Shift

(Newser) – Two stories this week of would-be criminals thwarted by ... themselves: In Massachusetts, a delivery driver was delivering a food order when three men, one with a knife, approached him. They took the food and his keys, but when they got into his car ... "not one of them knew how to drive a stick-shift car," an aide to the police commissioner tells the Springfield Republican. They argued, then ran off; the incident is still under investigation.In Chicago, a man managed to pry the lock off the front door of The Shambles bar in Wicker Park early Friday. But he failed to open the door ... because he was pulling it, despite the fact that there is a sticker on the door clearly marked "PUSH," DNAinfo reports. He gave up; the incident, which was caught on surveillance video, is under review.

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Would-Be Robber is Most Embarrassing Dad Ever

By JJ Duncan on If you think you can't catch a break, consider Stephanie Martinez.

The young Denton, Texas woman has it bad enough working as a clerk for Pizza Patron. But things just got worse the night of Friday, July 11 when a man in a wig and sunglasses walked in and demanded money.

Things turned from bad to OMFG WTF when a fellow clerk foiled the would-be robber by punching his lights out, thus knocking off his wig and sunglasses and revealing Martinez' father.

Stephanie wasn't in on it. She didn't even know it was her father, Benjamin Ramirez, until the wig fell off.

To make matters even more way terrible, Ramirez then stumbled into the getaway truck where Stephanie's mother and husband were waiting. Yeesh.

The police have said they believe Stephanie when she says she didn't have anything to do with the robbery, but that has to be little consolation for having to endure such weirdness.

Stephanie's mother, father and husband were all arrested for the incident. Here are the mug shots. (See the Denton-Record Chronicle's article here .)

Benjamin Ramirez         Sonia Ramirez              Jose Miguel Martinez 

More Stupid Criminals
Related Articles:Writer, editor, and sometimes graphic designer for Zimbio.com since 2008. Follow me on Twitter.

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