One Facebook Album Coming Right Up

Sunday, June 24th, 2012 • Filed under Technology

No girl likes to be stuck in the middle of the eternal Boyfriend vs. Parents war, but if any of you out there have been her, the frustrated boyfriend, or the we-hate-him-only-because-we-love-you parent…at least be thankful that no battle was ever this bad.

After the breakup, the 17 year old male half of a teen relationship was distraught. Because, of course, high school S.O.’s are always The One. Desperate to talk to his 15 year old ex again, he texted her mother a topless picture the girl had sent him. According to Houston Press, he threatened to post it and other pictures all over the web unless he was granted permission to speak to her daughter. Much to his surprise, she called the cops. And that, ladies, is why they belong in your shirt.

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'World's Greatest Dad' Sought Sex With 14 y/o Girl

By JJ Duncan on I'm almost speechless. Never have stupidity and tastelessness been combined more seamlessly into one man.

This is Daniel Allen Everett. He's 33, from Clarkston, Mich. and he was arrested in this T-shirt after he went online and arranged a meeting for sex with what he thought was a 14-year-old girl.

Soaked that picture in? Take another look if you need to, I'll wait.

Done?

OK. Yeah. Ick.

Everett now faces two felony counts and could spend as much as 20 years in prison. I can't decide which punishment is worse: losing 20 years in the slammer, or being immortalized in the creepiest mugshot ever.

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Subscribe to Stupid CriminalsRelated Articles:Writer, editor, and sometimes graphic designer for Zimbio.com since 2008. Follow me on Twitter.

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Spitting Or Non-Spitting?

Sunday, April 22nd, 2012 • Filed under Caught on tape

Fast food seemed like a great idea at the time, but it’s gotten just downright scary. French fries are probably filled with more meat than the actual “burger” is, and Taco Bell fills its crispy shells using a legitimate meat tube. Like, my (imaginary) dog receives better nutrition.

Even worse, now we have to worry about how the workers prepare food, in addition to the dangers of ingesting said food. According to Los Angeles Times, an employee in a South Carolina McDonald’s pulled the nasty trick of spitting in a customer’s drink. The alleged story is that a mother and daughter requested another order of sweet tea because the first “wasn’t sweet enough”. Instead of adding more sugar, the employee added his own special ingredient…only to be caught on camera later when the customers complained. Can’t imagine why, nothing’s healthier than fresh DNA.

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Furby: Not Recommended For…Anyone

Sunday, March 25th, 2012 • Filed under Guns, Murderers

Everyone has something from their childhood that haunts them to this day. I, for instance, will forever be terrified of Gushers, because I feel no desire to have my head replaced with giant fruit. Please share in the comments which ridiculous images still lurk in your earliest memories.

Not surprisingly, Furbys are considered to be horrifying as well. But is it horrifying enough to shoot? According to Huffington Post, a man claimed he had shot his long-time girlfriend by accident. However, a testimony by one of his friends raised suspicion. She told of how their group of four was sitting and drinking one afternoon, when the man became so enraged by a noisy Furby on the table that he threatened to “blow its brains out”. Furby continued to speak, so he shot it right between its eyes. This story served as proof of the man’s temper and accuracy, both of which could have played a part in the murder of his wife. And Furby. A moment of silence, please.

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“Sweetheart, You Know That Don’t Thrill Me.”

Friday, April 20th, 2012 • Filed under Other

How far would you go to get out of the friendzone? Show up with chicken noodle soup on a sick day? Send the sexiest of sexy pictures? Suffer through an Indiana Jones movie or an episode of Pretty Little Liars with said friendzoner?

I bet you can’t beat these guys! When a Nebraska woman decided she didn’t want to show up for her probation appointment, she took procrastination to the extreme by asking her two male friends to stab her in the stomach and shoulder. Dedicated fellows, it seems. According to AJC Mobile, she was sentenced to a year in prison. While this seems appropriate, I can’t even put a name to the law she could’ve have violated. “Thou shalt not request a stabbing?”

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Bonding Time!

Sunday, April 1st, 2012 • Filed under Robberies

Maintaining a decent mother-daughter relationship can be tough. There’s always the controlling mom trying to “relive the glory days” through her high school kid. Or the mom who’s so clueless she still thinks twilight is a time of day. But worst of all is the mom who wants to be considered a friend, and ends up swapping hookup tips at the dinner table. Like, uh, please pass the awk?

But if all else fails, you two can commit crimes together! An almost-60 year old woman and her 30 year old daughter were caught speeding away from a Regions bank with the loot and a gun in the car. The mother had walked in with a wig and gun to demand cash, while the daughter waited in the getaway car. According to Houston Press, this isn’t the first time they’ve had this type of outing. At least it beats Toddlers and Tiaras…

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Pics Or It Didn’t Happen

Friday, April 20th, 2012 • Filed under Cars, Caught on tape

It’s not official ‘till it hits Facebook, right? There’s no science homework unless someone writes a whiny status. They’re not dating until make-out pictures gack up your news feed. And, of course, someone is your friend if, and only if, you click “confirm”.

This rule even applies to criminals! A young man in Kentucky might’ve been going through a dry spell with his girlfriend, so they spent a wild night siphoning gas from a police car. She took a picture of him flipping off the camera in the act and stuck it on Facebook, because that’s the kind of classy couple they are. According to WKYT, the boyfriend claimed he had not actually taken gas from the car. When investigated further, he said he had “tried but there wasn’t much in it”. He ended up spending a night in jail, sans the f*ck-you flip-flops.

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